Tired Conventions to Avoid

One of the problems of learning film by watching film is that new filmmakers, and old, confuse abused and sometimes nonsensical conventions with acceptable methodology. These common conventions may be well tried but don't ring true with modern movie-goers who are, thanks to the internet, far more sophisticated than audiences of the past. Next time you consider following one of these conventions, PLEASE, think again.

1. Everyone born before 1950 spoke with an English, Irish or Scottish accent. No, they didn't. Dear filmmaker, if your story is set in the Middle East 100 B.C., do remember that England didn't exist yet. Go with no accent or something more regional when making your casting and directing choices. On that note...
2. A spray tan will suffice in place of ethnic reality. Uh, no. Audiences didn't buy Mara Rooney as a native American in "Pan," and they won't buy that blue-eyed white guy playing an Egyptian pharaoh (with a British accent).
3. Anything with fuel explodes on impact. Seriously, watch a couple of episodes of "Myth Busters" before you plan your next stunt.
4. Young women are interested in dating older men. No, they're not. Oh, and on that note...
5. Women come in two age groups: twenties and silver-haired granny. Again, no. If you are casting a person who is seventeen, no one is going to believe that twenty-five-year-old is really his mom. Get ages right or get out of film. Women in their thirties, forties and fifties appeal to audiences and most ticket buyers today are women 35-49. Hmm....
6. Women can run and fight in high heels. That may have flown in the eighties, but ladies have figured this little bit of idiocy out nowadays. If a girl is going to do some butt-kicking or running, she's probably going to be in comfortable shoes. And unflattering pants. With a bra on. Get it?
7. Audiences are stupid and must have everything explained. Please, just stop with the expository speeches. Repeating what just happened to make sure we got it went out right about that time they poked fun at it in "Galaxy Quest."
8. If you're a genius, you know everything. How irritating. My IQ is around 163. I do not know how to fashion a rocket engine out of soup cans and radio wires. Give me a few diagrams or fifteen minutes on Bing and I might, but it's not just locked up there in my head to be accessed whenever I feel like it. Also, saying a character is a genius does not convince audiences s/he is. Being a genius also does not exempt you from personal care or wearing matched socks.
9. Bad guys die instantly from a single gunshot wound to the stomach. Naturally, the good guy can continue on to victory with 9 bullet holes and a stab wound. Honey, please! We've seen CNN. You get shot, it hurts, you fall down and bleed while calling for your mommy or 911. Unless you're hyped up on meth.
10. All drug dealers wear gold chains and listen to rap music while driving pimped out Cadillacs. Wow. Stereotype much? Today's crime lords look like your local politician or the high school volleyball coach. Sure, those gangsta types still exist, but don't let 80's Hollywood fool you. Criminals are far more sophisticated in this day and age.
11. A talented super geek can hack into any system by typing a few thousand characters while staring at a login prompt. Guess what? We all have computers now. Get that password wrong three times and it's nighty night. If I'm going to hack a system, I sure as heck am not going to physically break into a highly secured building and sit my silly butt down at a terminal and start typing random characters. No. I'm probably going to send Joe Bob in purchasing a tempting porn link and drop a Trojan on his PC. Then there's always the option of those adorable cat videos...
12. Remaking a beloved film with new technology will create an even better film. Sorry, but you should know by now this one is wholly wrong. Very few remakes are worth the cost of a tub of popcorn. If you're hurting for ideas, find a screenwriter. Preferably a new one with some fresh ideas. (Do not confuse "new" or "fresh" with "young." Young people have far fewer ideas than their life-worn peers.)
13. Last, but not least: Only attractive people can be good guys. Ugly people are always bad guys. (Yeah, tell that to the last few attractive guys I dated.) Here's the reality: average people want to see average people on screen doing the extraordinary things they fantasize about doing themselves. If we want to watch a bunch of supermodels running around in skimpy clothes, we'll watch a beer commercial or a perfume ad. Start casting actors who can act and quit pumping your films full of eye candy who couldn't deliver a believable line if their lives depended on it.
14. Sorry, missed one: All women come in a double-D. Except smart women. They're C cups. Do I even need to waste time explaining how idiotic this whole concept is?
15. Honorable mention in the bad film conventions department because this one is unique to our current decade: every cast MUST contain at least one Black person and one gay couple. No, it does not. Forcing a stereotype, race, religion, gender or otherwise into a film where it doesn't fit doesn't further anyone's cause or political agenda, and could even be working against the success of your film.

Film-makers: you know better. People are more sophisticated than they were even 10 years ago and we're sick and tired of watching the same crap year after year. We want truth. (Not to be confused with political or personal agendas.) If the success of those ridiculous reality shows tells you anything, it's that people want to see real people, not plastic Ken and Barbie dolls, on the bright flashy screen. Stretch reality, sure. But connect with your audience by exerting at least a modicum of effort in conveying some level of truth in your casting and your stories. You, and your audiences, will be happy you did.